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This is my friend’s dog. I forget what kind she says it is. A “Take-a-poo,” maybe. I tell her it looks drunk. I tell her it looks like a homeless person. She hates me.
What do you think?
Archive for May, 2008
The HOTNESS! Can you handle it…
Bitches be crazy…
Can you get too much Justine? No. No. You can’t. Too much Justine is like too much Santa. Or too much Beasley. …
Next month I go for my tennis coaching license. Now, when I play tennis, no one within 600 feet is safe. Not people on the next court over. Not people 5 courts over. Not people behind the fence. Not people in the parking lot. But if the Baby Jesus answers my prayers, I’ll be a USTA-licensed tennis coach. Maybe then Leydi will play with me. 
*If you or someone you know needs lessons, I’m cheap I’m easy I don’t charge much!*
One of my tennis crushes is Justine Henin. I’m not even embarrassed to tell you that I keep her picture on my phone. This one…
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Annnyway…she retired. I say it’s because she wants to start having children with me. She says it’s because she’s tired. She’s 25. I’ll let you be the judge.
Seriously…lessons? Anyone?
Sure, she’s batshit crazy…but that hair!…and the chicken dance!…we dig it!
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The future Mrs. Shannon Beasley, Lauren Conrad, is on the cover of the new Rolling Stone. She doesn’t mention me in the interview because we haven’t yet decided if we want a big wedding or not.
What? Suck it, losers.
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The DEA has arrested nearly 75 students at San Diego State University for running a drug ring selling coke, weed, and ecstasy out of four frat houses.
With 75 of ‘em, how did they have any drugs left?
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